July 10th, 2002

depressed

Bad post ahead i think

Its another thing of that I know I shouldn't do it.

But I can't help.

I watch others and wait.

but it ends up being futile.

I of course in usual self-whatever fashion have myself to blame I guess.

I guess i'm just being pathetic.
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depressed

Why do I care so much...

I really don't know. I suppose its a matter of going back and the feeling of existing.

If we go through life and don't make any sort of mark. Did I really live?

But then what defines a mark?

And if no one sees the mark does it really happen?

I've talked with people on a variety of subjects about powers nod spirits and the such.

Best I an figure is that i have some sort of natural stealth technology.

I am the guy who shows up and everyone says hi to but and the end of the evening I've talked to maybe two people
And when I go to leave I basically have to yell to get a goodbye.

If I don't then no one will realize I am gone.

I am like guy described in Ocean's 11. Funny but won't make you laugh, pleasant but forgettable.
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    depressed depressed