December 1st, 2001
They say you find it when you stop looking.
But given that you can't stop looking to find it.
because by stop looking you are just looking for it in a differnt way
and thus it becomes useless.
i've stopped looking an have never found it.
Yeah its been an unusual couple of days.
life sucked cause of money.
then life got better because i got some wonderful caresses. Don't know how beter to describe it.A girl at this role playing game i go to is very tactile with people and i got to enjoy the benefits for a large amount of time. but i doubt that would ever pan into anything. though i be nice .
then today i wake up late going into work an hour late.
Though i got a new dance game at work so i got all sweaty.
now i'm crashing again.
happens everytime my house has a party and i'm there.
i tried venturing outand walked around ended up on one of the couches for a while when friend came over asking fr a copy of xp. friend only ever really shows up when looking for favors.
well friend leaves and i end upwandering around.
don't get drawn into any conversations. can't even think of ways to enter any convos bt eventually just end up on the couch again. sitting there watching a tv i can't hear.
so now i've retreated back into my room. the music and voices invade but i feel so crowded yet alone at the same time. god its frustrating.
hang in there
proly why I avoid crowds as much as I do
the xmas party tonite will be a drain cuz being around people to me is very draining esp people from work.
oh well, free food and drinks and I wanna see someone get so drunk they swim in the water in the Rainforest
You know, I have some good tips on how to get the fap stains out of the T-shirt...
Still haven't found. I've got sex (almost), and I've got family, but ... not together.
I'm not touching Adam's religion with a ten foot pole.
I did end up lying on the floor with my head in Neighbor's lap though, last night, purring contentedly as he petted my hair.